Make no
mistake about it. Even under the best circumstances, divorce is daunting. You
will be challenged spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And you'll likely
have some degree of anxiety when it comes to your future finances, too .
Guess
what'. In the context of divorce, all of these feelings are completely normal.
As suggested by a well-known Verona matrimonial lawyer : "you
must accept the fact that divorce represents a change".
And
change, even if you consider it positive, is never easy. But change can also
represent renewed hope for the future once you work your way through a range of
emotions.
But how
is it done? What exactly will you experience? And what do you need to do to
mentally and emotionally get over a divorce?
Here are some tips on how
to get over a divorce:
Realize that the feeling
of “grieving” is normal
Depending
on the nature, length, and type of relationship you have had with your spouse,
you may feel that a part of your identity will be gone when they get
divorced. The label you had as “husband” or “wife” will no longer apply. For
now, and perhaps for many years to come, you will be only one person.
It's not
only okay to mourn the loss of those labels and your relationship with your
spouse, it's completely normal.
In fact,
have a good cry (or several) to help you process the anger and sadness you feel
about the loss of your relationship.
Recognize that it will
take some time
Going
through a divorce is a process…and it's more like a marathon than a 100-meter
dash.
The
intense feelings of love and joy you felt when you fell in love and got married
will take some time to dissipate as you resolve your situation.
If you
try to go too fast, you are likely to repress the feelings you need to
process to help yourself heal. Progress will be incremental. Go at your
own pace and understand that there will be setbacks. Divorce can be an
emotional roller coaster.
The speed
at which you heal will be different from well-meaning friends who try to rush
you or compare your divorce to theirs.
Don't face it alone.
You may
feel ashamed, sad, and embarrassed about seeking the support of others to help
you through this stage of your life.
But
friends will intervene to bridge the gap. They will be there when you just want
to argue about things. They will take time to listen to you and offer
encouragement when you need it most.
They will
help you release your anger. It may be difficult for you, but you should
take the risk of sharing your feelings with friends and family. It's healthy.
You can also join a support group or even seek out a mental health professional
to help you put things into perspective and begin your path to recovery.
Be kind to yourself.
Fight the
feeling of placing all the blame for your divorce on yourself. Healing will be
hard enough without making you your own worst enemy.
Instead,
do things that will nourish your soul, nourish you, and set you on a positive
path. You'll probably have more freedom than ever, so take walks on the
beach , read all those great books you've been wanting to curl up with, go
dancing with your friends, take up a hobby like playing the guitar, tennis,
photography, or anything that makes you feel good that you held back.
Improving
your self-esteem is essential at this time in your life.
Take care of yourself
physically.
If you
are depressed, the refrigerator could turn into your best friend and every step
you take could be tiring unless you decide to take care of your physical self
as well as your mental self.
Physical
activity releases endorphins, and endorphins relieve tension , anger and
anxiety.
You can
also get active by finding a running buddy, making friends at the gym, or any
way to engage with others in a positive process.
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